Posts in Start Small
It Used to Scare Me

"It used to scare me."

I think that about rain. I would hear that it was coming, and any rain - any - brought the potential of storms and heartbreak. I was terrified well longer than needed, but I simply didn't understand.

As a kid, I didn't understand what was real danger versus what felt dangerous. Afraid I wouldn't know the difference, it was easier to fear it all.

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What's Written on My Hand...

"Ps1611"... Because I didn't have space for "You [God] make known to me the path of life." 

I was reading an interesting book (and by "reading" I mean "strategically skimmed 1/3 of the chapters", but I digress), and that verse was in there. The rest of the chapter was one I didn't need, but that one verse was one that grabbed me. I spend a lot of time trying to figure out what I'm doing with my life.

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Being the Middleman

I love being the generosity middle man. Recently, someone handed me some cash intended for another person. Now, if you've ever attempted to give money, you know that it can be uncomfortable. Depending on how they respond or what situation they might be in, there are many factors that can come into play. 

And so - even thought the money wasn't mine and I didn't even know the person I was handing it to - I got to play a part.

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The Varying "Fear of Failure"s

My two sons are very different in their approach to failure. My oldest will not give up. He was the kid who tried stairs over and over and OVER again until he finally mastered getting to the top without falling. To him, failure was a sign that something absolutely MUST be accomplished. As he's gotten older, this is still the case... BUT he only wants his "practice" to be done in private so that people only see his 100% success.

My younger son is much different.

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How to Receive a Gift

Sometimes one of the most awkward moments in life is the moment you choose to act on your decision to be generous to someone. I've found the easiest way to give is to go through a third-party or find another anonymous way to do it, but sometimes you just know you need to look someone in the eye and give it to them. This can be uncomfortable, and that feeling can exponentially magnify depending on the size of the gift and the relationship you currently have with the person.

Recently, I was on the receiving end of this experience (thanks, God, for blessing us through a couple friends!!), and I could feel the discomfort of the giver as she didn't want me to feel uncomfortable. And something popped out of my mouth that was so true that I wanted to write about it. Here it is:

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Continually Improving

I once told my husband I didn't like my middle name because it literally means "bitter". I don't WANT to be bitter. He laughed and said "You're like coffee - bitter but good". Being that I am an avid coffee drinker, I was happy... until he continued with "...and just like coffee, some people will love you, some people will hate you, and some people just aren't going to understand you at all." 

He was right. 

That's how I feel about that woman from Proverbs 31. She has so much stuff going on that she often comes across as someone we just cannot relate to, so we have to look for the thread of her story more than the details. 

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